Bathroom Identities

Dear Mongoose, 
Did you ever think you'd see a day where people have to "identify" with a gender in order to figure out what bathroom to go to? I'm afraid to say I disagree with all this fuss because I'll be called some kind of hater if I do...

Dear Indoor/Outdoor Plumbing,
 I’ve heard time and time again, “things can’t get much worse," and it looks as though some took that to be a challenge.  First off, there is nothing hateful about what I just wrote or assuming one would use their  biologically assigned bathroom.   Let us first define the word hate : to feel intense or passionate dislike, used as a noun or verb—same meaning.  I don’t know you, but let’s assume you don’t feel an intense, passionate dislike for a man sitting on a urinal or whatever they identify with.  If you do not, then you are not a “hater”, most likely you simply have good common horse sense. 

I’ll use the next argument to explain the fallacy behind the "whichever gender I identify with" movement; let’s say you identify as being a bird -a male cardinal to be exact- instead of the human being you were born as. Climb up to the top of your roof, spread your arms (not wings), jump, flap your arms (not wings) and let me know if you hit the ground or take off in graceful flight to the bird feeder with the other birds.  Pretty sure once you finish dialing 911, if you're conscious, you will learn that regardless of how you identify yourself you are still the same person you were before you decided to identify otherwise.  Without getting into the weeds too deep I realize that everyone is different, and folks have leanings and attractions that don’t always marry up (see what I did there?) to their natural born physical make up.  This does not mean that you get to do whatever you feel like wherever you feel like and so on.  There are natural laws—laws of nature, local & federal laws and moral codes that keep societies from descending into chaos.  Once the laws we put in place don’t jive with the natural and moral codes, natural law will still prove itself to trump our contradictory laws every time.  We’ve had 200 or so years of practice, Mother Nature and God have had, well, since the beginning—they win. 

​By the way, I just asked my wife to make me a sandwich, she said, “Poof—you’re a sandwich”, guess what? I’m still hungry and I am not a sandwich.