Carry On My Wayward Niece

Mongoose,
I have a niece who's been having trouble with her marriage. She's always been a little "squirrely," but she's a good person that has strayed off the path. She's been drinking and dabbling with pills, something that the rest of her family don't believe in, but refuses to talk about it. It's making for some awkward family dinners. How do we help her if she pretends like there's nothing wrong?

Dear Wayward Niece’s Aunt/Uncle,
I’ve never been to or through a 12 step program, 10, 11 (or any step program for that matter) but from what I understand, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Until you can convince her to look in the mirror and take ownership of her shortcomings, you don’t stand a chance of helping her. If she has truly been on “the path”, she can be convinced to see her errs, just don’t brow beat her till she shuts down. Simply start by leaving a few breadcrumbs and love her just the same till she finds that path again.

You should also talk to her hopefully-not-soon-to-be ex-husband. If he is not the cause-- which is always a possibility, he will have more influence on her than you. Keep in mind that if it took a while for her to stray, it will also take a while to get back. Again, be careful with the stone throwing. And the whole awkward dinner thing? It just might be due to your cooking.