Husband With Too Many Guns

Dear Mongoose,
My husband is an avid outdoorsman and has started collecting guns.  I don’t have any problem with guns at all.  I just can’t see the need for so many.  I mean, he can only shoot one at a time right?  I’ve tried to talk to him to see why he keeps buying them and he gets defensive.  I don’t think he’s preparing for war but I was hoping you might have an idea of why he keeps buying them.  He is a good man, there is no fear of him planning anything devious and I don’t want anybody to think that.  Please make sure that last part is printed. 

Thank you,
Xxxxxxxx

Dear Mrs. Armed to the Teeth,
My kids were watching old episodes of “Sesame Street” the other day, Bert of “Bert & Ernie” had amassed quite the collection of bottlecaps.  After they were tired of Sesame Street, sponsored by the letter A and the number 6 I believe, we switched over to” Hoarders, Buried Alive”.  I’ve never seen an episode of “Hoarders” where anything of value was hoarded, mostly things like bottlecaps, newspapers or cats.  Unless the political climate changes and “ists” stop killing other “ists”, “ish”, “cans”, firearms will become a very good investment.  I personally have never lost money on a firearm of any kind and unlike Ferraris or used bottlecaps, there are practical uses for them.   As long as he’s not prepping for the apocalypse, or even if he is, and it’s not breaking the budget, might be just as good as some 401K’s that have turned into 201K’s overnight.  When the Hoarder TV crew shows up, or the ATF, get worried, otherwise ask him to take you shooting.  I bet you’ll enjoy it and one of these days he can sell them and buy you a vacation home on the beach.
P.S. Could he make the same argument about your shoes? I mean, you can only wear one pair at a time, right?


We'll See Ya,
Mongoose