Left, Right, or Venomous Snake?

Dear Mongoose, (or whatever your name is)
I feel that someone giving advice in a news column should be a college graduate and have better qualifications and credentials than you. Your conservative and religious references are too much, and some have even been offensive. In addition to that, the name "Mongoose" is ridiculous in itself. The dictionary describes a mongoose as a "slender, ferret-like carnivore," which is not exactly flattering. I want to encourage other readers to boycott the right-wing agenda hidden in this "column." 

Dear Sticks N Stones, 
 
Mama always said 'if you don't have anything good to say about someone don't say anything at all,' your mom and my mom are related too--they're both moms. You only read part of the definition of a mongoose...the rest of it says "noted especially for it's ability to kill cobras and other venomous snakes," so brace yourself:   I generally read "The Edmonson Voice" on my phone, and in order to get to the "Ask Mongoose" column I must first click on the "Opinion" link then navigate to this column which is under the "Opinion" subheading. God, (yes God ) gave me and most likely you, eyelids, fingers and a brain that has the ability to control your eyelids opening and closing allowing you to see or not see what you wish, the ability to control your fingers--the same fingers that typed your letter to me and to navigate the Internet however you wish.  Agenda?  Not really, just me being me. Guess what?  You read it, if there is an agenda you just fulfilled it!  Enjoy your new awareness. 
We'll See Ya,
Mongoose