Real Nice, Clark

Hey mongoose,

I'm blessed with my driveway bordering my neighbors property. Naturally they've planted a row of Bradford pears 6" from the line (somehow they are the only Bradford pears that won't just fall over after a good wind). Every time I get my 1989 Winnebago Itaska spirit out, the dang limbs thrash my ac unit. I'm tempted to pull out my Stihl and help them with a little pruning, but not sure how tactful that'd be. How would you handle this situation?

Dear Cousin Eddie,
If good fences make good neighbors do good pear trees make bad neighbors?  Maybe not. If I've learned one thing in answering these questions it is the sheer and utter remarkable fear folks have of having a man to man, man to woman, woman to woman, whatever combo honest conversation with other human beings. Let's run through this scenario; fire the chainsaw up, check to make sure they're not home, cut like a woodchuck and halfway through yelling "Timb--!!" watch in horror as your neighbors pull up their drive from a trip to the grocery in which they were walking through the deli, saw a chocolate cake--your favorite, and said to themselves, "we should get that for our wonderful neighbor, he loves chocolate cake". Imagine how you'd feel.  I get tired of suggesting this but perhaps you should head to the grocery store, pick up something you know your neighbors like, call them up for a whatever you bought them summit and explain to them your dilemma. They might save you the trouble and trim them for you or even offer to pay for your A/C.  There are at least 10-12 good people left in the world, some might even live close to you. If not, the next time it drops below 32 degrees break out the water hose, Bradford pears loved to be watered from the top down, especially on windy days.