My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student

Bouter Mongoose,

I'm sick and tired of my sister talking about how smart her 2nd grade son is. She posts every test score on Facebook and Instagram and constantly talks about what "percentile" he's in, how many AR points he has, and what grade level he's reading at. BIG DEAL! My kids are both good students, but nobody else cares! Good Lord, if you can't make all A's in the second grade then you probably need extra help anyways. I'm not throwing off on kids that don't make good grades, but how do I deal with my sister when she thinks her kid is a genius when really, he's just like every other kid in his class?????

Dear Lots of Question Marks In A Row There At The End,

I remember the 2nd grade, longest 3 years of my life.  If I had to guess when you and your sister were growing up there was a considerable amount of competition between you two.  Some things we just never grow out of.  Perhaps your sister is overcompensating vicariously through her children, something that has been the plot of many comedic movies of late.  I don’t watch many movies so I can’t tell you how the stars worked it out but if this has become such an issue and you are family—tell her how you feel.  Don’t berate your nephew in the process but explain to her you realize her son is this week’s star student, you’ve seen her bumper sticker and agree that he will become President of the United States or Premier or Dictator (looking at the direction we’re headed).  Keep this in mind as well, Thomas Edison dropped out of high school and a good chunk of our most recent Presidents graduated from Ivy League schools.... did a light bulb just turn on over your head?


We'll See ya,
Mongoose