The Neighbor's Dog

Whatabouter Mongoose,
My neighbor, (we'll call him "Bill") has lived beside me for 13 years. We've always gotten along fine and he's a good dude. About 6 months ago, he got a new dog that stays outside. It looks like a collie mix and is very friendly. The problem is that the dog runs loose and gets into my garbage at least twice a week. The dog's also tore up a patio chair and my grill cover. I've asked Bill plenty of times to keep his dog put up and he says he will, but he hasn't yet. Sorry to say, I could've easily shot the dog on three occasions but haven't. I told Bill last week that if the dog tore up anything else of mine, I'd shoot it. Last night, the dog got my welcome mat off the porch and chewed it up into several pieces, by the time I got my rifle, the dog was back over in Bill's yard and I couldn't shoot. Should I pull the trigger the next time I have the chance or keep picking up trash all the time?

Thanks, 
Garbage Man In Rhoda

Dear Garbage Man In Rhoda,


They claim a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's... guess that depends on who's trash they're into. I've been "Bill" before, but the difference was my dog died of lead poisoning--administered by me. I say shoot the sorry dog, right in the act, right between the eyes!  With a camera of course...Here's what I mean: Print the photographic evidence and have a sit down with good neighbor Bill. If you really want to get the point across, photoshop a set of crosshairs in to let Bill know how serious you are. If Bill is a good neighbor, he'll get the point. 


We'll see ya,
Mongoose