Well, I Swear

How about it, Mongoose?
According to my wife, I've got a bad habit of saying "I swear to God," all the time. I didn't realize it until she brought it up. She says I'm taking the Lord's name in vain, but I don't look at it that way. It's just a by-word, I might use it like this: "I swear to God it's freezing out there!" or maybe, "They called that a foul? Well, I swear to God." I'm not trying to be ugly, it's just a phrase. How can I break the habit? I've tried quitting, but I swear to God, I just can't. 

Dear Pottymouth,

The ole tongue is something no man can tame but sounds like your wife is trying to. The reality is, perception is reality. One may not have ill intentions when one says or does something others perceive as offensive but oftentimes the damage is done and can not be reversed. That being said, I may not agree with what you say but I will defend your right to say whatever you wish, but this your wife, if momma ain't happy, nobody's happy, do your best to stop using your favorite catchphrase.  The best cure I've found is word substitution. Pick a phrase or make up one and substitute it every time you catch yourself popping off the one in question. You will first have to become conscious that you say it, then you'll realize it may be worse than "like" nails "like" on a "like" chalkboard. Personally I would sub in, "What abouter Mongoose". 'They called a foul!  Well what abouter Mongoose?!'

We'll See Ya,
Mongoose