Mongoose Hits "Reply All" To Governor's Mask Mandate Questions

​Do you know the feeling you get when you finally make it home after a long, hard day at work, sit down on the couch, kick your shoes off, exhale and lean back only go get bombarded by your kids with 4,011 questions, requests and demands?  Let me just say this, after King Andy’s latest mandates, the kids (Edmonson Voice readers) have bombarded me with questions, requests and demands that nearly crashed my email server and gave me a new appreciation of my own children and their comparable graciousness and patience.

The number one question on everyone’s mind is, “Mongoose, what do you think about the mask mandate?”  So instead of responding to countless individuals individually, I felt its easier to hit Reply All and settle the minds of the masses in this form.

Coke or Pepsi, Ford or Chevy, Republican or Democrat, Apple or Android,  mask or no mask, as Americans, we tend to be constantly divided between two choices.  It is upon rare occasion in which we have a third category to choose from and oftentimes aren’t given the choice and are forced into Pepsi for instance, because they don’t have RC.  Americans, for the most part, love freedom, choices, and the freedom to choose an option that isn’t even on the menu.  When we are not given options, we sometimes feel like a stray dog that’s been backed into a corner and if you take one more step we gonna bite you.

So enter Governor Andy Beshear... Andy gets dolled up and camera-ready every day to deliver the most up-to-date (and now known to be fraudulent) "Rona" numbers to people that just spent two hours watching morning and game shows,  four straight hours watching soap operas, and two more hours watching QVC.  The sad part is, the soap operas are probably the most honest thing they've seen all day.  Andy speaks to his audience like Judge Judy scolds the wayward poodle owner who didn’t clean up after Fi-Fi doodied on the neighbor's porch.  Meanwhile, model citizen Karen swallows every word that Andy, in his own brand of condescension, dictates. Never attempting to taste it, gulping it down, believing every word with the same blind faith teachers have, that they’ll have a pension rivaling that of Warren Buffett.  This same audience hanging on every word is most likely to be of the same who berates someone without a mask at the grocery store, posting about it on Fakebook, Instagag, Snapshot, Tweeter, and with Andy-like condescension and disdain for anyone who dare question anything that the Emperor decrees. 

I don’t know Andy Beshear personally, have never been within 2 miles of him to my knowledge, but I do know politicians --and I know others that believe everything this side says and disagrees with everything the other side says.  I will admit I am generalizing, stereotypical, assumptive-- whatever you wish to call it-- but I truly believe Andy and his followers' passion for mandated masks is not fueled by the desire to keep everyone healthy.  It is because Andy and his followers believe those that question anything they deem necessary are too stupid to make their own decisions.  They are the same group of people that mandate warning labels on coffee so we dummies know its hot, the same group that argues that backyard BBQs spread coronavirus--and not yelling, screaming, spitting protesters-- and we all know you can’t catch the virus at the liquor store, but church is worse than a Chinese wet market that specializes in bats.

My advice to Andy and his disciples is this; stop treating everyone like they are stupid, we all know stupid people, but very few of us think we are them.  If you truly worry about our health and safety, lets discuss it with open minds, we both may learn something and might even be able to help each other stay safe.  Andy keeps saying, “keep politics out of this”,  I keep saying, “don’t be a hypocrite and follow the law”,   lead by example, if you want everyone wearing a mask I better never see you without one, I also want to hear you condemn rioters with the same disgust you condemn revival goers,  if you want to criticize the Attorney General for suing you don’t give him something to sue you for and go back in time and un-sue Bevin if you think the Governor has that much authority. 

Now, to specifically answer the question, ‘What does Mongoose think of the mask mandate?’, wear one if you want, stay away from big crowds if you want, get sick if you want, don’t ask me to pay for you getting sick and don’t TELL me I have to wear a mask, don’t TELL me I have to wear a seatbelt or a helmet, let me make my own decisions.  I don’t wear a mask but I also don’t go near large crowds or reuse tissues or lick toilet seats.  I’ve made it this far in life, undoubtedly coming in close contact with things far more dangerous and deadly than the Covid.  I do wear my seatbelt and a helmet though, if that matters to anyone.

​--M.G.